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Another Milestone...

6/11/2014

 
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Tomorrow will mark another milestone in a long list of achievements that we have been able to conquer in the last 22 months.  We will board an airplane that will take us to Las Vegas.  It has been the one thing I have craved to do since the accident, and is also the thing I've missed the most.  Honestly, I never thought this day would come.

 Traveling represents freedom from the day-to-day routine of life. For me, it has always been exciting, and is the candy that feeds my brain with fresh images, new smells, and stimulating thoughts.  

As the reality of our situation set in over a year ago, the thing that made me the saddest was thinking I might not ever be able to travel far away ever again.  Seeing Facebook pictures of other’s vacations was extremely painful. I was envious and jealous to see how much fun I was missing out on.  

In the beginning stages after my husband was discharged from the hospital, we couldn't even leave the house. He had an electric wheelchair, but no van to transport him in.  The only time he left the house was if he had a doctor’s appointment. We called the “County Connection”-the van service for people with disabilities-and they would pick us up and drop us off.  Nothing was more humbling than the first day we rode in that van.

 We tried several times to buy a van of our own, but each time there was something that was keeping us from pulling the trigger—in most instances, the height inside the vans that we were looking at were too short to accommodate my husband in his chair. The vans that did accommodate him were so big that it would have looked like we were going camping anytime we wanted to use the vehicle.  Although we did a lot of searching, it just never worked out.   

As the days went on, we were feeling more trapped, and we needed to find a way to allow us some level of enjoyment outside the home.  We ordered a transport chair that you could collapse and throw into the trunk. One day my daughter and I decided to go for it- we were going to get my husband in the car by ourselves.  The occupational therapists taught us the technique for car transfers, but we had never actually gone through the motions by ourselves.   At this point in the recovery my husband wasn't able to give us any assistance whatsoever.  He couldn't stand, or lean over, or move any part of his body necessary to help us in any meaningful way.  We slid a transfer board under him, leaned him over, and with one person on the driver-side, were able to pull him into the car.  It wasn't pretty, and we fumbled a bit, but we got the job done!

By mid-January of 2013, the kids were back in school and I couldn't rely on them to help me with the car transfers, so I decided I needed to make a transfer all by myself.  It took a lot of strength and might. I don't know how I did it, but I did, and after I did it the first time, I felt so liberated!  We finally had some level of freedom, albeit a small amount, but freedom nonetheless.  

Slowly but surely, Vaughn's movement's and strength were coming back to the point where he was helping on our car and bed transfers.  This past Christmas, he hit yet another milestone: he started to bear weight on his legs and get into the car without a transfer board.

When I look back, and anticipate this trip we have been thinking about for so long, I can truly say that we have come a long way!  Now it's time for us to finally board that plane.  I imagine we may run into a bump or two, but when you put your mind to it, anything is possible!! 

Marci Temple
6/11/2014 06:32:12 am

This makes me cry. You are so strong. I was right around the corner. We have to look for each other for help. Have fun in Vegas and I am continually praying for your family.

Denise Stephens link
6/11/2014 11:24:10 am

Thanks Marci! My thoughts are with you too, and although we didn't get much time to spend when we were neighbors, it's never too late!

Heidi
6/11/2014 07:35:08 am

Hope you guys have a fabulous time and enjoy every minute - wishing you a safe and comfortable journey x

Denise Stephens link
6/11/2014 11:25:05 am

Thanks Heidi! I'm hoping for a comfortable journey as well ;-)

Maria
6/11/2014 11:16:55 am

Congratulations to you all on this milestone! Miss you!

Denise Stephens link
6/11/2014 11:26:00 am

Miss you too girl! We need to get together SOON!!

Shack
6/11/2014 11:17:07 am

Have a wonderful wonderful time on your trip Stephens family! We love you and are so very proud of all of you! Oh, and don't lose too much money in those slot machines ;) Vaughn, have a drink for us - better yet, have 2!
xoxo

Denise Stephens link
6/11/2014 11:27:25 am

Thanks Shack! I can't wait to gamble with Vaughn. It should be fun, and for sure we will have many a drink to celebrate! look forward to seeing you on the 24th! XXXOOO

Nancy Llacuna
6/11/2014 01:34:06 pm

What a great place to celebrate your milestone, hope you enjoy every moment you guys so deserve a get away...post pics!!! Hope to see you soon xoxo :D

Denise Stephens
6/11/2014 03:49:32 pm

Thanks Nanc! I definitely will post some pics :-)

Kim Lally
6/11/2014 01:46:07 pm

Denise I'm so happy for you guys and can't wait to hear what a wonderful and amazing trip you have with the next step of your journey. I hope you guys enjoy the time you so deserve with each other and more importantly enjoy the freedom - you all so deserve it!!

Denise Stephens
6/11/2014 03:51:54 pm

Thanks Kim! That means a lot. I appreciate your support since day 1. The nice thing is that all four of us will be together AND we will also be with my parents,and two of my brothers and their families. I hope all goes well, and will post some pics along the way. Miss you friend!

Krista
6/12/2014 12:19:22 am

Congratulations! Freedom to "go" is such a huge success. I wish you all well and happy travels.

Denise Stephens
6/12/2014 05:56:59 pm

Thanks Krista! Let freedom ring!!!

Arash
6/12/2014 07:10:50 am

This is a great next step for you guys. Just shows how far you've come since his injury. It's amazing how the smallest accomplishments and signs of freedom can be so gratifying. Enjoy your trip!

Denise Stephens
6/12/2014 05:58:48 pm

Thanks Arash! You've set the bar high and have paved the way for others to have the courage to do what the mind wants you to. As always, thanks for all of your support!

Christine
6/12/2014 09:47:59 am

Great news! Where else can you visit the whole world on one plane trip:-) Enjoy<3

Denise Stephens
6/12/2014 06:03:53 pm

So true! We are here for a wedding, so less about walking down the strip. I'm more interested in being with my family (parents, brothers, etc) poolside where we can relax and hang out! Miss you!

Deanna
6/13/2014 01:07:51 am

I hope you guys have a great time! :)

Denise Stephens
6/13/2014 10:23:39 am

Thanks Dee! We are having a blast. Get my batteries recharged!

Vicky link
6/13/2014 05:53:16 am

Such great news....Vaughn just keeps getting stronger and stronger:) Enjoy this time away from home and make some wonderful, fun memories. Can't wait to hear how it went!

Denise Stephens
6/13/2014 10:25:01 am

Most definitely! Already maki great memories, with more to come! Great to hear from you Vick!

Cooky Longo
6/16/2014 03:08:51 pm

Hi Denise
I just read your very inspiring story. It truly touched y heart.I commend you for all you do and have done for your family. Your husband is truly blessed to have an angel by his side. May God bless you and continue on with all you do. It will makes us all stronger to know that there are wonderful people such as you to make someone happy and never give up.

Denise Stephens
6/17/2014 12:57:50 am

Thanks Cooky! That means a lot. Vaughn makes it easy to care for him, because he is so special!


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      I'm the proud mother of two wonderful children, and the loving wife & caregiver of my husband, who suffered a catastrophic spinal cord injury during an ocean accident 10 years ago. I want to share our story and the profound impact it's had on our lives. I hope you will find my entries/blogs interesting, thought-provoking, and perhaps helpful should tragedy or hard-times every strike. 


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